The Disheveled Playwright

     Every now and then I subscribe to an on-line dating site called, “Black People Meet” (Don’t judge me).  This go around, I met a couple of men and spoke to them on the phone.  One of these men seemed to be a little intriguing because he was a “playwright” and had written some plays that I had actually heard of and to my knowledge had done very well.  His conversation was pretty good and he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders.  We spoke a couple of times on the phone and at the time he was getting ready for a play that was running Mother’s Day weekend.
One weekend while I was in LA, I decided to send him a text letting him know that I would be in the city and if he had time, maybe we could finally meet.  He responded that that would be okay and to call him when I got to the city.  I had lunch with one of my friends and after lunch I suggested that she ride with me to meet this guy.  I gave him a call and he directed me to his house, which was NOT in the best of neighborhoods and then he told me to drive down the alley and park in front of the garage.  WHOA!!!  Alley….NOT!!!!  I informed him that he had to come to the front, that I would not be driving down nor parking in an alley.  We pulled up in front of a house that looked abandoned to say the least.  He lived in a back house that was over a garage.  WAIT!!  Maybe I shouldn’t have called it a house, I guess that since it was over a garage it would be considered an apartment???
“I guess being a playwright, isn’t very profitable nowadays!  He most def was not Tyler Perry but I guess Tyler Perry had to start somewhere too,” I thought to myself, as I waited for him to walk to the front.  By now my friend had received a phone call and was engrossed in a deep conversation.
I look in my rear view mirror and I see this disheveled guy walking towards the car.  Now in my younger years, I would have put my foot on the gas and high tailed it out of there but…hell, I don’t know why I didn’t drive off.  So, this guy walks over to the drivers side window and the first thing that I notice is that his shirt is buttoned like a 2 year old tried to do it AND it is dirty.  My first impression is obviously, “WTF!  For real, you came out of the house dressed like this.  You knew I was coming for a couple of hours and this is the first impression that you give?’
Anyway…he said hello and handed me fliers for his new play and invited my friend and I.  I took them and said thanks and still could not get over the fact that he came out the house like that.  By this time, my friend has ended her phone call and I am trying to discreetly elbow her.  While he is talking, I am staring at his mouth and notice that his teeth are fighting each other to get out of his mouth.  For those of you who don’t know what I mean… what I am trying to say is that his teeth were a mess and they looked like he had a diet of coffee and nothing else!!!!
This guy is talking about his play and that he was watching the game and had beat $300 on the it and I am slowly coming to the realization that maybe his plays did make money but he probably had a bad gambling habit, thus his living conditions.  (I know, a little judgemental.  I’m working in that) By this time, I am trying to cut the conversation short and ready to exit, Stage Right.  Ole boy, finally gets the hint and takes my hand to kiss it.  I am trying to pull back my hand, and he asks why am I pulling back.  My mind is screaming, “Your teeth!!  I don’t want my hand anywhere near them!!!”  He kisses my hand and I am wondering how fast I can get some anti bac on them!
Before he walks away he says that I am very beautiful and he would love to see me again and I am thinking, “I bet you do.  That ain’t going to happen!” Instead I smile and bid him a good day.  So now my friend is like, “OMG!!  What the hell was that?”  She then asked if I had seen the big lump on his arm, in which I responded no, because I was so outdone by the dirty shirt that wasn’t buttoned correctly.  We both agreed that he would be labeled, “HELL TO THE MF NO!!!”  I guess it’s back to the drawing board.  Another one bites the dust!!!